The Loudest Silence
by xaprilshowersx
Summary: AU Brittana - Santana is a single mother living with the new knowledge that her young daughter suffers from selective mutism. They struggle alone until they meet a certain blonde play therapist who changes both of their lives for good.


_**I wrote this a while ago and forgot to post it. There's a few more chapters written already so it should be updated pretty soon. Have fun :)**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any of any of the characters from glee but I kinda wish I did. **_

"Hey, Maddie?" You call from the hallway. "I hope you know it's half an hour since I last called you. You've got ten minutes." You listen for a response but as usual, there isn't one.

Pretending to go about your chores, you keep listening for any sign that the six year old might have actually listened to you this time but the house is silent and you have to stop yourself from sighing too loudly. This disobedience was becoming a regular thing and no matter how patient you tried to be, it was testing at the best of times. She just would not cooperate. You'd tried yelling, bribing, begging but nothing worked. Your daughter hated school and she hated you for taking her there.

You head back upstairs and peer around her bedroom door. She's sat exactly as you left on the edge of her bed in nothing but her panties and socks.

"You're going to be late." You say, busying yourself with folding her pyjamas which she'd left in a heap on her cream colored carpet. You see her shrug out of the corner of your eye. Over the past few months you've learned that ignoring her disobedience is sometimes the only way to overcome it. You pretend not to see her fold your arms as you hand her a white shirt with bows on the sleeves and a little blue pinafore dress.

"Put these on please."

She shakes her head.

Again, you ignore her and proceed to pull the shirt quickly over her tangled curls. For a second she refuses to push her arms through the holes and keeps them folded but she quickly complies when you turn your back to unbutton her dress.

"Good girl." You praise, crouching down and holding the denim garment close to the floor, ready for her to step into. Scowling, she steps in slowly and refuses to make eye contact with you while you attach the straps back onto the metal buttons.

"I hate school." She mumbles, brushing a stray hair out of her face.

"Well I hate that you hate it baby but you gotta go and that's all there is to it."

The little girl huffs and sits back on the edge of her bed, her bottom lip jutting out in miserable defeat. You begin to brush out her hair but she pulls away sharply, snatching the comb from your hand.

"Excuse you little lady but did we not have the same conversation about snatching yesterday morning?"

Maddie shrugs again and you decide that enough is enough.

"Suit yourself then." You say, making your way back out into the hallway. "I'll be leaving in ten minutes."

You shut her bedroom door and head for the kitchen where Maddie's breakfast is all laid out on the table ready to be eaten. The only problem being that it's been sat there for twenty minutes already. The colored cereal has soaked up all of the milk meaning that their shapes are swollen and deformed and you know they'll be practically liquefied if they sit there any longer.

You sit in the seat opposite to where the food is laid out and begin to read through the monthly newsletter from Maddie's school. The first page is full of the star pupils and all of their wonderful talents. Little Caitlyn won her latest gymnastics competition with full marks across the board and Jacob from the year above had won a special prize for a painting he'd entered in a local art magazine. There'd been trophies won in soccer competitions, the best ballet recitals in the state. Everything that Maddie would love but was too shy to take part in. You'd love for her to be able to go to dance classes or play on the school soccer team. Even staying after school for art club would have been something but there was just no way. You could hardly get her through the school gates, you were pretty sure you'd never even get her out of the house if an after school club was mentioned.

Maddie was painfully shy and not just in a six year old way. She literally would not speak to anyone other than you and your dog. Her school teachers had never heard her say a single word. They suggested she may be a selective mute but that sounded far too serious. And you'd never really been a fan of labelling children. Maddie was just shy, that's all. There was a reason for it, of course but you weren't about to discuss that with those stuck up teachers. In fact, you'd made up your mind a long time ago that you wouldn't discuss it with anyone. Ever.

You flip the page of the newsletter and begin to read through the 'dates for your diary' section. There was a school dance for Maddie's year coming up this summer. It'd be their first ever school dance and you feel your heart sink when you realise Maddie will most likely not want to even talk about it with you, let alone attend it. She's missing out on so many things.

You sigh heavily and rest your head on your hand as you continue to read. Your dog, Chloe, gets up from her bed and sits herself next to your chair, nudging your free hand with her nose. You smile and rub one of her ears.

"What are we gonna do with her, hmm Chlo?" The dog licks your hand in response and then, ears twitching, she moves out into the hall upon hearing quiet footsteps on the stairs.

You check the time and realise that yet again, Maddie is going to be late to school. The little girl appears in the door way, hair hanging down to her waist and socks unevenly pulled half way up her legs.

"Come eat your breakfast, baby." You say and she complies silently, positioning herself on the edge of the chair and swirling the mushy cereal around the bowl with her spoon. You stand behind her and begin to section her hair into two braids as she eats. You hum quietly to ease the tense silence and Chloe winds herself around your legs.

Leaning over Maddie to brush out her bangs, you catch sight of fresh moisture on her dark eyelashes and you notice a wet trail on her cheek. Sighing quietly you put down the comb and silently wrap her up in your arms, letting her press her face into your shoulder. You hold her close and whisper how much you love her until she feels brave enough to face the day.

The walk to school is a brisk one because once you'd finally made Maddie smile with the promise of ice cream on the way home that afternoon, the little girl was already five minutes late to class. You hold her hand tightly as you cross the busy road, pulling Chloe along behind you.

You reach the reception of Maple Street Elementary and tie Chloe's leash to the nearest railing, aware that she wouldn't be allowed inside. When you were early enough, it was nice to stand out in the yard with the other mom's, waiting for their children to head inside. But lately, it was more likely that you'd be taking Maddie into the reception, signing her in and explaining why she was late yet again. The staff were generally very understanding but it still didn't make you feel any better about the situation. This was supposed to be a place where Maddie could grow and learn and make friends but instead, it made her hide behind you, clinging to your waist, terrified to be left alone.

The reception was usually empty until you rang the attention bell but this morning Mrs Willow, Maddie's teacher, was chatting animatedly to the lady behind the desk. Upon hearing the door being pushed open, she turns around and greets you both with a warm smile.

"Good morning, Maddison!" She beams, crouching down to examine the little girl's dress. "Wow, look how pretty your outfit is!"

Maddie smiles in response. She likes Mrs Willow.

"Why don't you say goodbye to your mom and head up to our class? The children are just about to sing their morning songs." The teacher smiles warmly again and Maddie glances at you, her dark eyes suddenly filling with tears again.

"Go on," You try your best to smile despite wanting to scoop her up in your arms and take her home, "Have a great day baby." You kiss her hair quickly and usher her gently through into the hallway that leads to her classroom. You watch her go and smile when she looks back at you before disappearing into the class with a little wave.

"Sorry we're late again." You say, turning back around. "I just couldn't get her out of the house."

Mrs Willow dismisses your apology with a swift wave of her hand. "Totally understandable." She smiles. You smile too. "But I would like to have a quick word with you in my office Miss Lopez, if that's okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

You follow her down a small corridor, counting the amount of times her heels click against the tiled floor. Twenty three, twenty four, twenty- she stops so abruptly that you have to hold onto the wall to stop yourself walking right into her. She pushes a door open and lets you inside.

"Take a seat." She smiles and you comply, sitting at one side of the large desk as she sits on the other. The room is bright and airy and you catch yourself staring at the family photos on the teacher's desk. There are some taken at the beach, the zoo, the park. Mrs Willow and her husband and three smiling children. You think about your family photos at home. Just you and Maddie.

"I just want to have a quick chat about Maddison's development and social progress." Mrs Willow says, interrupting your thoughts. You nod, signalling for her to continue. "Maddison is a very bright little girl. Her in-class work is always perfect. But socially, she has not developed as much as we would have liked her to."

"I know."

"We still haven't heard her speak." She says quietly. "And at Maddison's age, that just isn't right."

You nod. You don't have an answer. You know it isn't right.

"Miss Lopez…" She starts carefully, "Have you ever thought of taking Maddison to see a therapist?"

"A therapist?" You try not to scoff. "What for?"

You had thought about it. Once. Very briefly. But now someone else was suggesting it, it seemed even worse.

"She's very shy. Unnaturally so. And it's holding her back."

You nod.

"We're concerned not only for her education but her ability to socialise in the future. We'd hate for her to get to fifteen, sixteen years old and not be able to communicate with peers in her new school or even college."

You nod again, avoiding her eyes as your own burn with the threat of tears. There's a few seconds of silence and you feel her watching you, hands clasped sympathetically. You hate her for suggesting that your child is a screw up. The Maddie you know isn't like this. She's sweet and bubbly and she talks to you all day long when you're at home. But at the same time, you can't argue with her. You know she's right.

"I'm sorry," Mrs Willow starts again, attempting to break the tension that was beginning to spill into the prolonged silence but you shake your head.

"No, don't apologize." You say quietly. "I understand what you're saying. I'll look into finding a therapist." You give her a tight lipped smile and get to your feet, hooking your purse over your forearm.

"Hold on." She says as you turn to leave. She's holding out a small piece of paper with a number written on it. "An old friend of mine. She's a child psychologist and play therapist."

You nod and take the paper from her.

"Give her a call."

You give her another small smile. "Thanks."

You take a small detour on the way home and head to the park, thinking that Chloe could probably appreciate a little more time outside since the weather is so nice. It's a clear day, slightly cool when the sun slips behind a cloud but the break in the heat is somewhat refreshing. You wander slowly along the woodchip path, allowing Chloe to run freely over the large areas of grass on either side of you and you only have to call her back once when she's looking all too longingly and a fluffy grey squirrel making its way to the nearest tree.

You push your hands into your pockets and feel the small piece of paper hidden in there. The thought of the therapist overwhelms you again and suddenly the day seems a little darker. Therapy was for sick kids. Like, really sick. Kids who had been abused or abandoned and other awful stuff like that. Not your Maddie. She was doing okay. Plenty of kids are shy. Right?

You shake your head because even as you're thinking those things, you know they're not true. Maddie has never made a single friend at school. She's never been invited to a birthday party. Never been on a field trip. All because she simply refuses to communicate. She won't even use gestures. If someone asks her a question she stares blankly at them until you answer for her. The other kids think she's boring and weird. Like Mrs Willow said, no one at school has ever heard her speak or laugh or squeal. Nothing. Your silent baby.

You pull the paper out of your pocket and begin to unfold it as you make your way to the nearest bench. Your hands tremble slightly as you punch the number into your cell and you clear your throat several times as the dialling tone begins.

"Hi, yes. I'd like to make an appointment for my daughter. I think she's," You pause, having run out of breath. You are unsure if you'll even be able to say these words out loud. You hate labelling your daughter. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to force some more air into your lungs.

"Yes, I'm still here. Sorry." You say quickly. "I think my daughter is a selective mute."

_Thanks for reading! Reviews would be very much appreciated :) _


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